Everybody acquainted with me knows how much I love Old Bess, my ’95 Ford Explorer. Bess and I have been through a lot together since we bought her in 1997. She was a news car before that and I have been told that in certain twilight, you can still see the station letters across her backside.
Today, Old Bess and I went out in the sunshine. Errands, groceries and some Christmas shopping screamed that time is urgent. So, off we went.
Everything went well in all locations—until I drove into the garage at home.
Old Bess has a quirk. She does not like to release her locks. Anybody who has sat in her back seat can attest to this. She isn’t always this obstinate. It’s hit and miss. Today, it was hit. With a back full of packages of all kinds. Oh yeah, did I mention the lock on the hatch door doesn’t recognize a key?
This means I must unlock every door by hand. Front and back seats are fine and well within reach. But, if I need to unlock the hatch door, it means I have to get into the back seat, crawl over the top, reeeeeeach waaaaaay back to pull up the stick on the back-hatch door to release the lock. Really fun!
Ok. Check. Done. I climbed back down into the back seat and tried to open the back door. No, I do NOT have child locks on. Everyone in the world who has ever ridden in that car has checked for that. The door did not open. No problem. I’ll just move to the other side and go out that way.
Are you kidding me? I am an old lady. We don’t contort as well as young ones. And we are longer. I have never been so grateful that I continued my exercises from the gym right on through Covid. It has served me well. Especially when contortions are necessary.
I had to sit in the middle of the back seat, stretch my left leg over the console, try to stand as best I could. Then, with my hand, lift the right leg and force it next to the left, over the console, and into the front seat. With a little finagaling, I plopped into the driver’s seat. Phew! Now to find my shoes.
I opened the driver’s door. No sweat. That door has never mysteriously locked up on me. But, I are smart! If I’d been locked in, my keys were in my pocket ready to turn on Old Bess’s engine and rescue me.
Lesson learned: always have keys in your pocket when you go out of the house. Even if it is to the attached garage! You never know!
Second lesson: always take your phone with you, too! My phone was in the house.
My idea of a Merry Christmas is NOT to freeze to death imprisoned in my car.